i've been getting a lot of comments and emails from friends and "fans" asking me what the hell is up. i know it's been aeons since i've posted, and i'm sorry! i'm even sorrier to say: no end in sight!
i've spent the last 2 months or so in work or play that brings me far from computers. either because of time or location, i just have very very limited access to computers. like now, i'm exiled in small-town nowhere writing up storms of poetry and plays. i gotta tell you, it's pretty exciting and i feel blessed to be able to devote a few months to nothing but writing (except for one contract job next month that will bring me to the only province i haven't been to: newfoundland! i can't wait!!!) but i digress... basically, all my creative energy seems to be devoted to works larger than this blog has ever strived to be.
but most significantly perhaps, i've been bored for months of the blah blah, here's what i did today posts. this is nothing new to most of my readers... but add to it that if i did that now, the posts would basically be:
- went to one of a handful of restaurants for brunch
- went back to the room/to the park to write
- went to one of a handful of restaurants for supper
- went back to the room to write
- went to bed
ok, i'm oversimplying. i am meeting people, living fun and enriching experiences...
but...
well, there's other stuff too... small, but that weigh on me and contribute to a general lack of inspiration when it comes to posting. one is that i feel irritated that i should be completely shut out from someone's life, yet somehow they get to keep reading about what i'm doing. there's something about the blatant unfairness that really irks me. and i think a part of me is still reeling from that psycho-bitch's flurry of attacks against me. yes, she was a ridiculous, small-minded idiot. but it still fucking hurt and why should i want to open myself up to that??
i don't know, i really don't...
but i promise you, if i come up with any inspiration to make this blog interesting again - to you, but mostly to me, i will post... um... post haste.
until then, have a gorgeous summer!!
k)
5 comments:
I am not quite sure who would be interested in your continuous babble about your pathetic depressing life.
(Thanks LC for forwarding this to me. You were right)
You are so quick to judge, yet can't handle judgement yourself. Instead you get defensive, curse like a trucker, and make yourself look as if you are a rock-star & everyone misses your blog. Everyone misses passing judgment on you and ridiculing your life, they are thanking god for not making their life as sad as yours.
You are lost in this world, without any love or clue as to why god put you on this earth. No worries I have no intentions of reading your blog again, and I have no interest in what you have to say to this. Delete this, keep it, burn it.. Do what you wish, Just remember, although you delete all the negative comments you get on your blog, and we know you get plenty, the truth is always out there..
Kind of harsh, don't you think??
No way - she should stop stepping on others to get what she wants. She is a mean woman with no consideration for others. People should know how she really is.
No way - she should stop stepping on others to get what she wants. She is a mean woman with no consideration for others. People should know how she really is.
i know it doesn't matter.
i know i should shrug off the fierce and angry words of someone who doesn't even know me, and who makes wild and irrational judments on me, based on what i suspect is some pretty intense personal history.
i know i shouldn't let one person cast such a negative glow on a blog that many people appreciate (on whatever level they find themselves relating to).
i know that i should head the pleas (which yes, i do get) of those who draw inspiration or amusement from my writing and want to hear more, and ignore the ravings of one (yes dear, i'm sorry but you're the only bitch in my life who is obsessed with hating me) stranger whose sticks and stones are seemingly randomly tossed.
i'm a smart woman, i know these things.
but it hurts.
it really fucking hurts, ok?
it hurts that there is so much hatred and ugliness in the world.
it hurts that there is so much blind judgment in the world.
it hurts that there are people in this world who take delight in hating and hurting other people. who seek out these opportunities to condemn strangers.
and i am having a ridiculously challenging time bringing myself to inspire such ugliness, which i clearly do. in this one vociferous cunt anyway.
at least i know i wasn't just being paranoid though... so hey, thanks crazy ugly mean bitch for proving my point. you have proven that the world is an ugly place filled with ugly people. bravo to you.
Post a Comment